Mini-ITX Motherboards

via Slashdot. Tom’s Hardware has an article on Mini-ITX form factor motherboards. These are small motherboards that look like they could be useful for shoving reasonably full-featured computers into places that they wouldn’t normally be found, like a car or an Amish person’s… butter… churn. I had never heard of these before, but it looks like they might satisfy some long-held frustrations I’ve had about mobile computing stuff.

It’s weird to think that it may not be too long before they can fit an entire (again, reasonably full featured) Windows PC into an iPod sized package. That would be, as Vladamir Putin probably once said, “pretty damn rad, yo. Sheee…”

The Whole Truth, or Lack Thereof.

“Fuck Saddam, we’re taking him out.” George W. Bush

Time Magazine got this quote, and the story that goes along with it confirms the suspicions I’ve had ever since the words “axis of evil” slipped from his lips. When he allegedly said that a year ago, he appears to have already made up his mind that we were going to war. He may have gone through the motions, trying to build a case using allegations he could never prove, but no matter what happened during the inspection process, or what the reason of the moment was for why the United States needed to invade Iraq, this war was destined to happen.
Continue reading “The Whole Truth, or Lack Thereof.”

Another Brief Respite

My lovely aunt Nancy sent this around to my family e-mail list the other day. I am essentially a cynical dick, so inspirational messages of love and the like are usually lost on me. However, since JesusH (like the world in general) is so highly charged with greasy, testosterony sentiment right now, it seems somehow appropriate.

I thus present: an interview with God.

Hopefully, this is something we can all mock — together.

Movie Reviews

Don’t worry, Jesush will get back to your regularly scheduled war coverage shortly. But I’ve managed to take time away from my unemployment to see a few movies lately, and I thought I’d review them here. For those of you who don’t know my taste in movies, I have a problem with suspension of disbelief and I don’t like many. I’m kind of the anti-Ebert.
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I Reckon This is a Bad Idea.

Our president spoke today, seeking to rally the troops and the American people, with talk of “a day of reckoning” for Saddam Hussein and all the honor and valor and nobility of the war.

Basically, he repeated the same speech he’s been giving since he started the war, trotting out the same hollow phrases and tired metaphors. Since he was talking about getting an evil-doer, his favorite subject, Bush seemed less stiff and forced than he has lately, cracking jokes and smiling. And the crowd loved it, cheering him on and bellowing out “Hoo-ah!”

In my own kitchen, I was not so impressed, and I don’t feel bad about that at all.
Continue reading “I Reckon This is a Bad Idea.”

Innovative Special Effects Cost-Cutting

Timely Studios is considering sending a crew to Iraq for the sole purpose of shooting realistic warfare scenes for one of their low-budget-looking movies, according to this memo.

This has to be a joke, doesn’t it?

Then again, with the monkeys and Transformers traipsing around the Middle East, I suppose that’s not footage you can buy stock.

[Via F—ed Company]

Our Animal Friends Will Lead Us To Victory

Spotted two separate articles regarding animals in the war effort, which made me think there is some sort of conspiracy or something.

The first includes this picture, which for some reason reminds me of that Simpsons episode where the dolphins take over the world.

The second, Morocco Offers US Monkeys To Detonate Mines is titled so descriptively as to make the actual reading of the article rather anti-climactic.

Autobots Join American Military Coalition

The spirits of coalition troops in Iraq were raised on Sunday when heroic Autobot commander Optimus Prime was transferred into the region. Prime, a wise and powerful robot warrior who can transform into a tractor trailer (or at least that’s what he transformed into last time I watched the show), will be providing fire support for airfields in the Persian Gulf.

Optimus Prime, Time’s Man of the Century (image courtesy A World Transformed)

Reports of evil Decepticon leader Megatron considering an alliance with evil Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein in response were unconfirmed at press time.

(L) Evil Decepticon Megatron (R) Evil Iraqi Hussein.

Full Story [via Daily Rotten]

New Gameboy Debuts

Nintendo has just come out with their new Gameboy, the Gameboy SP. Gamespy has a review of the thing that says it succeeds on almost every level. Notable features are the ugly-while-still-being-sexy clamshell design, 10 hour rechargable battery and the front-lit screen (which Gamespy gave surprisingly high marks to, given Nintendo’s past failures with GB displays.)

I would probably be interested in getting one of these things, but mostly from an interest in taking it apart, quite honestly. I don’t have a whole lot of time to blow playing Gameboy games, it seems.

A Reality Gap.

I’ve never really been a fan of “Dr. Strangelove,” but there was one scene that struck me as fairly funny. After worrying about a bomber gap and a missile gap, General Turgidson freaks out when he learns that the Rooskies are building mineshafts to hide in. The Americans just don’t have enough mines to hide in, so we clearly have a mineshaft gap, which is, of course, about to be the end of the world.

Well, I don’t think this is a sign of the end of the world, but I think our own Dr. Strangelove, Donald Rumsfeld, may be suffering from a reality gap.
Continue reading “A Reality Gap.”

ReplayTV is dead, long live MythTV

SonicBlue, the company behind the Rio mp3 player line and ReplayTV, has filed for Chapter 11 and is selling all its assets to the Japanese.

ReplayTV was one of only two PVR (personal video recorder) companies, unless you consider RCA Scenium; I don’t know why you would, given their market share), and with this sale, who knows where ReplayTV subscribers will get service now? Maybe D&M Holdings will continue support, and maybe they won’t, but I’m glad I didn’t buy a ReplayTV unit for Deb to record all her stuff on now.
Continue reading “ReplayTV is dead, long live MythTV”

War starts

CNN Article. The US launched 40 cruise missiles at Iraq, apparently in an effort to kill most of the Iraqi leadership so the remaining Iraqis will just turn over their country without a fuss. Now, 40 measly cruise missiles isn’t really what I had in mind when the Pentagon promised their apocalyptic opening attack, but it appears that said big attack is still forthcoming (thank heavens). I predict it’ll be kind of like that movie Independence Day, only in this case, we’re the marauding aliens.

I was surprised to learn that part of Saddam’s defensive strategy for avoiding death by the infidels is basically that he shacks up at a different Iraqi’s house every night. The man has 12 palaces with an intricate tunnel system running underneath, and his strategy to avoid capture is to crash at his citizens’ houses for awhile (“C’mon Habib! I can just take the futon. You won’t even notice I’m there! Oh, c’mon… who will even know?”). Homie needs a batcave-of-evil or something he can hang out in…

France May Change Position on Iraq…

Quoth this CNN article:

“If the war starts and if (President) Saddam Hussein uses chemical or biological weapons, it would change completely the situation for the French president and for the French government, and President (Jacques) Chirac will have to decide what we will do to help the American troops to confront this new situation.”
Continue reading “France May Change Position on Iraq…”

UN, Schmew-N

I just thought I’d throw this out there since we are a serious website and all. However, I wish to be considerate of those who are tired of the recent spate of low-octane JesusH debates on weighty topics, and thus offer the following choice:

First, the prompt:
I am seriously peeved at the way this Iraq thing has played out in the UN Security Council. Like, seriously.

Now, if this interests you at all, please click the “More…” link below. If this does not interest you, I have thoughtfully included the following picture of beloved entertainer Carrot Top for your amusement, with no hard feelings.

Carrot Top.
Continue reading “UN, Schmew-N”

Poland Saves the Day

Polish President Aleksander Kwasniewski has committed the services of up to 200 soldiers to the impending war in the Middle East. The Polish government is also expected to supply trusty steeds, bushels of high-grade oats, and an adequate supply of musket balls and gunpowder for the duration of the war in Iraq.

The doughty Polish soldier.

Poland to Commit Troops in War in Iraq []


I have heard a lot of anit-war protesting in the last few days, but I have not heard any reasons why there should not be a war other than “war is bad” and “peace not war.”

If you are against the war, can you summarize the reasons for not going to war with Iraq? I am interested in understanding both sides of the argument.


Brent’s Brain Writes Article For Newsweek

Newsweek Article. Called “The Arrogant Empire”, it’s an incredibly friggin’ long article that says all the same stuff that Brent does, only much, much longer.

The article is too damn long to comment on specific points (many of which, incidentally, I kind of agree with), but in general I found it lacking in its promised “what do we do to fix the problem”-type information. This turns it into a (massive) railing against Bush, which still makes me uncomfortable. If the case against Bush’s policies is so cut-and-dried, nose-on-your-face obvious, why do so many of his potential Democratic presidential opponents seem so retarded to me? I’m actually fairly liberal, but even given that, I haven’t seen any Democrats (or, say, Libertarians) who inspire more confidence than Bush.

I suppose this will all suddenly become more clear in hindsight depending on how we do in Iraq, but if the party line continues to be “Bush is a dolt”, I will continue to wonder who the Democrats can come up with to do better. Until I start hearing some names of possible alternatives, the anti-Bush criticism doesn’t sit well with me.

And I Thought Estradasphere Was Weird

Back to your regularly scheduled insignifica…

Norwegian death metal band MAYHEM were involved in one of the most bizarre rock accidents last night (March 9) when a flying sheep's head fractured a fan's skull.

Left: the flying sheep skull. Right: the aftermath.

Mayhem, whose songs include 'Necrolust' and 'Deathcrush', are no strangers to controversy. In 1991, lead vocalist Dead "lived" up to his name when he committed suicide. Drummer Hellhammer then made a necklace using some of the skull's fragments and guitarist Euronymous reportedly cooked and ate pieces of Dead's brain.

Euronymous was stabbed to death two years later by the band's bass player Count Grishnackh, allegedly due to the fact that Euronmyous had a more "evil" reputation.

[Full Article via Daily Rotten]

The Ugly (and Stupid) American

When I was 11, my family took a trip to France. Being a dumb pre-adolescent, my main interests were buying G.I. Joe figures with French packaging and determining whether McDonald’s tasted any difference outside of America. I spent much of the trip nosedeep in comic books, ignoring the scenery and wondering when we’d get to somewhere they spoke English.

Not the smartest way to spend a vacation, but hey, I was 11 years old, you’re pretty dumb at that age. Though I remember a lot of goofy things from that trip, one particular incident really sticks out, one that really illustrates the sorry state of the world we’re in now.
Continue reading “The Ugly (and Stupid) American”

Pentagon Tests 20,000 lb Bomb

CNN Article. It’s interesting that such a massive bomb is primarily intended as psychological warfare against troops and not for say, wiping out entire Iraqi theme parks in one go.


I find it slightly suspect that the bomb has “Dianetics” written on the side. I haven’t decided if this is because Scientologists built the bomb, or if the Americans just wrote it on the side to make it seem even more threatening (kind of like when they write “Eat this, suckas” on conventional warfare.) Or I suppose they could have actual scientologists inside the bomb, but I’d imagine that that would probably violate Geneva convention rules as inhumane weaponry against the Iraqis should any of the scientologist payload accidentally survive. Some weapons are just too dangerous…

Dumb Rich Limeys and Crafty Yanks

/. recently posted a link to this article regarding British victims of the (mostly) Nigerian “419” scams. You know the ones… “I am the daughter of an African revolutionary and I need a place to park my millions. Can I use your bank account in exchange for a 5% fee? I can? Great, just give me the number…” Only, you know, in capitalized Nigerian English. Anyway, this article is mostly notable because of the AVERAGE loss of the victims: about $90,000 U.S. This astounding number begs the question: Who is competent enough to accumulate $90K in their savings account, but dumb enough to fall for one of these e-mail scams?

Anyhow, I remembered seeing some good parodies of this scam so I started poking around, and I found this instead. In a website devoted to stories of people trying to scam the scammers, here is a really funny e-mail exchange of a 419 scammer with a guy who purportedly convinced them to send him a gram of gold. If it isn’t true, it is an eloborate and most entertaining fiction.

Area Man to Cops: “Arrest Me or I’ll Kick Your Ass”

Straight out of the Deep South comes an awesome tale of a citizen’s triumph over local law enforcement’s reluctance to take time out of their busy schedules to throw him in the hoosegow.

I especially enjoyed the following passage:

Lynch admitted he let someone use the vehicle in exchange for two rocks of crack cocaine, known as a “rock rental” in police parlance, Hartman said.

Having never heard of a ‘rock rental’, I looked around the net, but couldn’t find another mention of it, which got me to thinking the reporter who wrote the article could have just made the whole thing up.
Continue reading “Area Man to Cops: “Arrest Me or I’ll Kick Your Ass””