SBC sues to protect their invention of webpage frames

Some random article via Slashdot.

These sorts of things always boggle my mind. SBC asserts that they invented the notion of websites that “have links on the left side that go to other web pages within the site but do not lose the left side navigation links.” They are now in the process of suing smaller sites that use this sort of navigational scheme in attempt to get the site owners to capitulate, therefore establishing a precedent for use against bigger fish. They eventually want to charge royalties to others who would use this groundbreaking design scheme.

W… T…. F? This is a giant company with kabillions of dollars of assets and patents (it is, after all, a REAL phone company). Is making a ruckus over some retarded webpage technology really worth all the ill-will it’ll cause to the world at large and, more importantly, me? Now I hope those crackstands try to telemarket me some exciting new pricing plan so I can give them a piece of my mind.

Okay, not that I would actually do that, but you get the idea…

Monster Quake Ravages Southern States

Via Drudge’s top headline. A magnitude 4.5 earthquake ripped through Georgia, Alabama, and other southern states this morning, waking people up and nearly tipping things over.

“My whole house shook, I could feel the whole wave go north to south,” said Barry Goodno, an Atlanta earthquake specialist who finally got the chance to put his knowledge of earthquake vocabulary to good use.

Terrified residents fought to preserve their lives, abandoning their loved ones. “My husband jumped out of bed. He said he thought it was like the end of the world or something. He ran outside,” said Carolyn Parker. “It rattled the windows.”

Even more terrifying is the possibility that it could happen again. “It’s not something to be overlooked,” said Goodno. “This could be a precursor, it could be a one-time release of energy, it could be an indication of things to come for several weeks.”

Alabama and Georgia, please know that as our fellow Americans, you have the support of Californians in these trying times.

Return of The Information Minister

I’m always impressed when fast acting individuals can make lots of money off of current events. But one online merchant, submitted by my friend Chris, is one of the most impressive examples I’ve seen.

HeroBuilders.com, which sells hand made action figures, has added a talking Iraqi Information Minister action figure to their line. They are currently reporting a 4 week backlog for the $36 toy, due to “thousands of orders from around the world.”

herobuilders_1737_108954.jpg
“My feelings are as usual, we will slaughter them all.

Nudist Pilots Get the Axe

While the incident occurred on a Boeing 737 in flight, there’s no implication that safety was breeched. And a Federal Aviation Administration spokesman says there’s no specific prohibition against flying naked.

“I’m not aware there are any regulations on the type of clothing, so there’s most likely none on (wearing) no clothing at all,” spokesman Les Dorr says. There are rules against behavior that distracts crewmembers during vital phases of flight, which is just about anything below 10,000 feet, Dorr notes.

Southwest fires pilots for takeoff of their uniforms [usatoday.com, via Drudge Report]

Rick Santorum = Nate Orenstam?

At first, it seemed like the annual right-wing jab at gays that went just enough over the line to generate some heat, mostly from gay rights advocates and the left, who are obliged to comment on such things. No biggie. Not really worth commenting on, since we can probably all agree that Santorum is an ass.

The original controversial comment: “If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual (gay) sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything,” he said. Couching his views as a “state rights” arguments seems like a funny position since it would also logically follow that states should be able to ban consensual heterosexual sex between married couples as well. A point he reinforces in the same interview: “It all comes from, I would argue, this right to privacy that doesn’t exist, in my opinion, in the United States Constitution.”

santorum.jpg
“…punished to the full extent of the law, and hopefully serve as a deterrent to other scofflaw pet-owners who might endanger firefighters through their reckless actions.”

But now, it has become clear what Senator Santorum is doing. Senator Santorum is a troll. The latest twist on this uproar is that the polygamists are offended at being lumped in with homosexuals. Even now, I’m sure someone at NAMBLA is busy working on their official statement of outrage. My hat’s off to you, Senator Santorum. Nicely done.

The Little Things Local Companies Can Do To Win My Business

Arie and Will Wilgenburg, proprietors of Escondido-based Ward Poultry Farm, executed 30,000 live chickens via wood chipper. Apparently, the chickens were unable to produce more eggs and couldn’t be used as food because the farms were quarantined for Exotic Newcastle Disease.


Brutality: in business, it makes good, good sense.

[via Daily Rotten, which just came up after being down since April 4. My, but I’ve missed it.]

Early Review: The Italian Job (2003)

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Edward Norton, Mini Cooper, Seth Green, Donald Sutherland

I recently saw an advanced screening of The Italian Job. Originally, I wasn’t going to review this film as I haven’t seen the original and thus felt insufficiently informed to judge its originality and ray-zon-detruh. But then I thought, “Hey, every film geek who reviews this movie is going to have seen the original, but almost nobody who watches it will, so my opinion is actually more valid.” So as a public service, I hereby present the only review of this movie worth reading.
Continue reading “Early Review: The Italian Job (2003)”

Jeff’s Hit Single

My latest video asignment doesn’t involve video at all. Instead, I am pleased to present my first audio-only production. The assignment was to create a one minute narrative using little to no video. I chose to construct a lovely, complex love story, starring myself and my boo, Phet (I wouldn’t say that our acting is terrific, exactly, but it’s no worse than, say, Darryl Hannah.)

For your convenience, I have converted it into the popular “MP3” format that the kids have been raving about, so you can more easily download it and place it on your iPods, for listening on the go.

Jeff’s lovely, complex love story MP3 (1.1 Mb)

Recipe for Good Fun

1. Find a silly news story. In this case, a man broke into his burning apartment to save his dog. The cops and firemen at the scene told him not to, because it was too dangerous. He was arrested.

2. Click the in-article link to contribute my thoughts on the matter. You know, kind of like the good old ‘Goodbye, Captain Mike’ episode.

3. Espouse unpopular views–Martin should have been shot as he approached his apartment, because he was disobeying a direct and lawful order–and rile up the local libertarian set.

Come to think of it, was that what you were doing here before the war ended, Brent? If so, bravo.

Kevin Horton’s site

I’ve been loitering on this website for quite a while now, but I’ve never shared it because I’m all envious of this guy. I don’t like to admit he exists since he’s such hot shit, and I’m comparably not. Darnitall.

Anyway, Horton has built a whole bunch of goofy technical things with an apparent specialization for messing with old video game equipment. Some highlights: an atari 2600 with 838 2600 game roms built into it, various C64 SID players, a modified Nintendo that connects to a PC and can do a bunch of weird stuff (rad pictures), a Nintendo NSF player, a nixie clock

I really, really want to build an NSF player. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been at the bus stop wishing I could listen to the Castlevania soundtrack on genuine NES hardware. Lucky SOB…

Bar Stool Racing

Yet another fascinating article has been posted on Slashdot, which explains the up and coming sport of bar stool racing. Basically, bar stool racing involves building some sort of radholio go kart deal on to the bottom of a full-sized bar stool, which you can then use to impress chicks. In bars.

barstool.jpg

Also, they have a special division dedicated to building artsy, “lowered” bar stool based hotrods, which seems like another fine calling for me for after I graduate.

Fun Site of the Day

Witness the coolness of The Demon Hot Atom, a website dedicated to exposing the evils of nuclear power once and for all. The author of this site, one Mr. Russell Hammond, decorates his site in the most garish way possible (although I’m disappointed that he doesn’t seem to have discovered the blink or marquee tags), frequently refers to the nuclear power industry as “the nuclear mafia”, and is no doubt confused as to why people aren’t taking his message seriously.

Another thing that struck me about this site was that he runs it off of his “corporate” site, for his Animated Software corporation (note to self in case I ever get a PeaseJCo. corporate site going: don’t do this). Animated Software makes an exciting line of groundbreaking DOS-based educational simulators, including one that unravels the many mysteries of pumps, all in thrilling near-VGA graphics. Please note that this program is fully compatible with Windows XP home edition, and sells for a mere $60.00.

On the other hand, I am looking for a job… and this guy does work out of Carlsbad… maybe I should give him a call?

Messiah killed, sold, eaten

This story is old news, but I just saw it. A New York man freaked out and injured himself while trying to kill a fish after it delivered a message from god. I can’t think of a way to do this story justice, so I’ll just include a couple of quotes and the link.

Many members of the city’s Jewish community are now certain that God, troubled by the prospect of war in Iraq, has revealed Himself in fish form.

It instructed him to pray and study the Torah, but Mr Rosen admitted that in a state of panic he attempted to kill the fish, injuring himself in the process and ending up in hospital.

godandfriends.jpg
Messiah?

Saddam Hussein Guilty of Having Bad Taste

CNN Article. US Marines just found Saddam Hussein’s gaudy Love Den, filled with mirrored ceilings, shag carpeting, and fantasy paintings that recall old Yes album covers.

Okay, admittedly we haven’t found any chemical or biological weapons yet, but I frankly think that that poor home decorating ability is smoking gun enough. Iraq clearly needs an IKEA, stat.

Saddam Hussein Starred in Gay Porn

Yahoo Entertainment news. “Saddam appeared in as many as 85 of these films under a variety of stage names, most frequently Omar Studdif,” reveals the researcher.

Still photographs from the sizzling XXX-rated film, La’iba al-Waladaani (The Two Boys Played), were leaked to a Kuwait news magazine after authorities found it amid a stash of illicit porn in the vault of a recently deceased sheik.

I’m not sure what to make of this. It’s hard to believe unless I can see some of the pictures and, a the same time, I really, really don’t want to see the pictures. Further, Omar Studdif?

North Korea Blinks

CNN Article. North Korea has hinted it may hold multilateral nuke talks, after the US has repeatedly refused to hold unilateral talks with the nation. The article notes that this may be direct result of the US’s overwhelming success in Iraq.

Fixing the North Korea problem will be far more difficult than the Iraq problem, methinks, since they are very aggressive and seem to otherwise have their shit together (so far I haven’t heard any “citizens tossed in chipper shredder” stories from N. Korea).

I hope that they have the good sense to quit trying to muscle the world around by being outwardly aggressive, and that we have the good sense to take them seriously through diplomacy. They may have taken the first step towards this end with the above conciliation, and I hope we can make some good come of all this now.

Jeff Isn’t the Only One

http://www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com/

Some other worthwhile outlets on the indefatigable al-Sahaf:

“As our leader Saddam Hussein said, God is grilling their stomachs in hell. I think we will finish them soon.”
Spokesman Denying the Obvious [chicagotribune.com] (username cpunks, password cpunks)

…called on the United States to “surrender or be burned in their tanks.”
Is Al-Sahhaf an Unwitting Turncoat? [slate.com]

“When al-Sahhaf died they sent him 63 angels. Three of them are asking him questions about his life, and 60 are trying to convince him that he’s really dead.”
Absolutely Final al-Sahhaf Item [slate.com]

Y Tu Mama Tambien

We watched y tu mama tambien on Monday night. The movie is subtitled, and there are frequent narrative interludes by some English-speaking guy as well. These always help, as I generally am not a fan of reading my movies, but there’s something really strange about them that I couldn’t put my finger on. I think it has something to do with the audio level changing a couple of seconds before the narrator starts his deal, and not coming back up for a couple of seconds after he shuts up. It’s like they estimated the time it’d take a guy to say his lines–or used the Spanish version as a guideline–and it’s a little off every time.
Continue reading “Y Tu Mama Tambien”

Jeff’s Movie Assignment

Here’s my edited movie class project. The assignment was to do make a one minute movie consisting of some narrative and no sound. I did it on a day in the life of the Pease family (starring special guests Han and Mang), since that’s readymade riveting entertainment for everybody. That challenge was paring down almost an hour of raw footage to the svelte final product, while retaining some semblance of continuity. Thus, severla of the car chases and fistfights didn’t make the cut.

You can watch this movie in your browser if you have a reasonably good connection and a copy of Quicktime installed. Sorry in advance for the hissy noises. Quicktime got confused about my minimalist soundtrack.

Huzzah! (3.96 Mb)

“Alt-To-Music” Pioneer Wesley Willis Dead

Wesley Willis, the self-described “obese schizophrenic” man who was a pioneer of the “alt-to-music” movement, was fatally beaten down by some jerk-ass kids in Hartford, Connecticut, yesterday.

Willis, whose gibberish lyrics and Casio electric keyboard stylings provided adventurous listeners an alternative to listening to music, was 39.


In an undated file photo, Willis mugs for the camera.

The Salton Sea

Deb and I watched The Salton Sea on Saturday. It stars Val Kilmer as a strung-out stool pigeon with extremely fashionable tatoos and green-tinted hair. Whenever I start to think Kilmer’s a real weirdo–which I do from time to time for some reason–I just have to watch a performance like this one. He’s a friggin’ good actor.


Man, I must have been really drunk last night…

I’d characterize this movie as Memento Lite. I don’t want to go into more detail because I’ve decided to try not to do that with movies I think were good, which means I can give you detailed synopses of The Fast and The Furious and AntiTrust, but I’m gonna have to stop here on this one. However, I can tell you that David Elliott, the Union-Tribune’s awful movie critic (Fresh – four stars! Jackie Brown – four stars! The Mimic – four stars, for Christ’s sake! The Fast and The Furious – not so good… only three stars!) gives the movie one and a half stars.

Try it; I think you’ll like it.

pochi.gif pochi.gif pochi.gif pochi.gif (out of a possible 5)

Quoth Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

Quoth CNN Article.

Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf refused to acknowledge the U.S. raid. Al-Sahaf stood in the smoke-filled streets of Baghdad to issue denials of U.S. troop advances.

“The soldiers of Saddam Hussein have given them a lesson they will never forget,” he said.

Al-Sahaf chided journalists, blaming the Arabic-language network Al-Jazeera for “marketing for America” and demanded that reporters “do not repeat their lies.”

“We killed most of them, and I think we will finish them soon,” he shouted to reporters.

That guy has the worst job, ever.