JFK Jr’s Wife Was Mean to Him

CNN Article.

On one hand, sure, who cares about the marriage of the deceased alleged-heartthrob celebrity? On the other hand, I found the following excerpt interesting:

“Carolyn was like a wild horse,” the acquaintance from George told Klein. “She had a trash mouth. … She used to call John a fag all the time.”

Now, granted, there are two sides to every story (one must remember to try and consider the context in which Bessette repeatedly called John-John a fag), but, nonetheless, I would officially declare that one of the warning signs that one’s relationship is in trouble…

California Hours Away From ‘Road Warrior’

Wash Post Article via Drudge Report.

California still hasn’t figured out how to get out of its $38 billion dollar debt, but on the bright side, it still has 13 hours to come up with something (Gov. Gray Davis is still having a hard time getting his recovery plan, a massive Bikini Car Wash at the capitol, approved by the mean old Republican legislature.)

Analysts are all pretty sure that we’re screwed, and I anticipate all of California being immersed in chaos by tomorrow. We will all be wearing mohawks and buttless chaps, and battling each other with shotguns for control of the precious, precious gas supplies. Which, ironically, is not all that different from the lifestyle Californians are used to as it is. Go figure.

Blue Cross Sued By Colgate-Palmolive

I just uncovered this article by some guy named Brent Hopkins that I found to be pretty funny. Hopkins is a business reporter writing for the L.A. Daily News. He is also kind of a hoser — which I have to mention in the interest of full disclosure, despite it being largely incidental to my actual point.

The article is a brilliant piece of investigative journalism that explores the seedy underbelly of generic branding (Blue Cross is a generic producer of toiletries that are suspiciously similar to CP’s offerings). Quoth Hopkins:

“Colgate makes Afta after shave and sells it in a blue-gray bottle with a black top. Blue Cross makes After after shave and sells it in a blue-gray bottle with a black top. Colgate makes Speed Stick deodorant. Blue Cross makes Rapid Stick deodorant.”

It takes cojones to try and get away with selling Rapid Stick in competition with Speed Stick, but then I suppose it took even more cojones to name their company after a kajillion-dollar insurance company in the first place. It sounds like these guys are nothing if not cojone-ful. Cojonelicious.

Posse Pops

This entry may save a life, yo. Straight up.

I just discovered Posse Pops ice cream, which is like normal ice cream only for poor people. The company’s mission is to sell ice cream with inspirational messages (“Stay in school! Stay off drugs! Good Humor is wack!”) to shorties in the ‘hood, so they can be educated ’bout life and shit.

This site has much to recommend it, including giant, pixelated graphics, a phat soundtrack that sounds like a washing machine, and, saving the best for last, Ice-T is their spokesperson. Holmes be representin’? True dat, yo.

Yo, we outta here – word to your mother.

The Django Reinhardt Post

I got a coolholio Django Reinhardt CD collection for graduation from both my Mom and Dad as well as from Uncle Jack and Aunt Penny (who are, as always, rad). I’ve been fawning over Django Reinhardt since probably 1996, when I first read about him in some guitar magazine. I’ve been resisting writing about him on JesusH since I haven’t had a whole lot of mp3s to post (until last weekend, most of my Django stuff has been on record) along with the blurb. Thanks to the aforementioned rad people, now I do.

reinhardt.jpg

There are a number of fun things to know about Django Reinhardt. The first is that he’s the best guitar player in the history of the world. The second is that he’s a very sexy guy. Notice how rakish and debonair he appears in the above picture. Third, check out his left hand, and notice that it looks all gnarled and hideous. That’s because his hand was severely burned in a (I’m serious) gypsy caravan fire, and its functionality reduced to two working fingers (index, middle). Then he relearned the guitar and went off and got all famous and stuff for his playing. Hence, today’s JesusH “gimpy folk who made good” award goes to Mr. Django Reinhardt.

He is generally known for headlining the “Quintet of the Hot Club of France” in the mid-thirties. The QHCF had a fairly unconventional makeup for the kind of music they were making, having three guitars, a string bass, and a violin (played by Stephane Grappelly, who is nearly always mentioned in the same breath as Django). A pretty good biography of Django can be found on the web here.

Here are some swell Django Reinhardt .mp3s for you to mull over:

Tears – This is an original Reinhardt-Grappeli composition, and was the first real exposure I had to Django (Mark Knopfler and Chet Atkins recorded a version of this song on Neck and Neck).

Mystery Pacific – One of the most amazing songs I’ve ever heard. Apparently, “train songs” used to be fairly common among jazz bands (I’ve since heard another one by Duke Ellington’s orchestra), but to hear this sort of thing done on guitars is pretty incredible. Check out that train whistle!

Parfum – A Django Reinhardt solo piece.

Beyond The Sea (La Mer) – This song should be instantly recognizable. I really like the Django version, obviously.

Motel 7

So, yeah, I graduated from college for the most part. For the last couple of weeks I have been caught up either in finals or graduation stuff or the Holstad family reunion (which is just concluding this evening, might I add), so I haven’t been posting a whole lot here.

In all the hubbub, I forgot to post a link to my latest (and regrettably, last) college video project: a delightful little film called Motel 7 (it’s Motel 6, only plus 1, which makes it all kooky). I still have traumatic flashbacks of this film because my professor, a delightful, cherubic man named Wolfgang Hastert, watched our rough draft and called it an incredible disappointment and offered that we were wasting our time, which was came as something of a sucker punch since he had literally never given a bad critique in the entire quarter leading up to that point (and I’ve put some of my previous movies from that class up on the web: they are not that good). The time he chose to start being merciless was two days before the final edit was due, which was less than helpful (especially since I was the one responsible for the final edit).

I figured he must have eaten some bad shellfish or something.

The above controversy is kind of a shame, because, on the whole, I am pretty proud of this movie. This movie was a group project, where everybody in the group was supposed to take on a pretty defined role in the production (we had a writer, producer, director, etc). Also, we were supposed to use actual actors in this movie, which was an utterly frightening prospect since we didn’t really know what we were doing. The script was written by a guy named Matt Johnson, who is a pretty incredible student filmmaker in his own right, and it was utterly incomprehensible from the beginning. It was designed to be confusing and art film-y, and we managed to follow it pretty much to the letter. The actual shots and look of the movie are pretty consistant with the way we planned everything in our production meetings, and I thought the actors did a fine job. Finally, we were really able to do some cool things with sound, which was a huge deal for establishing the the (incomprehensible) scenario of the film.

Some of the problems with the film were that it turned out to be quite dark in some places (for maximum enjoyment, you may need to adjust your monitor), and some of the important action turned out to be pretty subtle (ie. the bathtub scenes).

Watch Motel 7

Santeria

I stumbled across this the other day.

I wonder if there’s anything to it? My guess is someone built a professional version of Jeff’s old Dork Detector concept (a little box with a red light on the front of it it and a button on the back; you’d point the box around the room, and when you were pointing at whoever you thought was a dork, you’d surreptitiously push the button, causing the light to go on) and is charging beaucoup bucks for it, but what do I know?

Prairie dog identity crisis

CNN article.

When I saw that prairie dogs have been caught spreading monkeypox, I was like “Gosh, when dogs start spreading monkey diseases, all hell is breaking loose.” But then I go to the article and see the picture and, dude — these aren’t even actual dogs. They’re little squirrel looking things that call themselves dogs and spread monkey diseases.

I should have totally stayed in bed today.

‘V’ To Return

CNN article.

I seem to remember the original had, like, shape shifting Michael Jackson-looking reptile people, which really freaked me out. Not that I ever actually saw an episode or anything (I was four, and my upbringing was better than that, dammit.)

Unfortunately, science fiction, for the most part, is for sucks. I’m really only interested in the new one to see how they reprise the shape shifting Michael Jackson-looking reptile people, and after that, I’m moving on to other things.

Metal Gear Solid 3 Trailer

A trailer for the upcoming Metal Solid 3 was shown at E3, and can be viewed over the internet here. The big breakthrough in the new game appears to be the jungle setting, as virtually every FPS-type game, ever, has taken place in some sort of “industrial hideout”, which has grown pretty tired.

Despite the fact that MGS 2 was rather disappointing, Hideo Kojima undoubtedly churns out some amazing stuff. I imagine that I will be first in line to buy this game when it comes out in 2004.

Automated Chicken Wrangling Techniques

Wall street Journal article (via Slashdot)

My favorite excerpt:

Early devices included the chicken vacuum, which sucked up birds and shot them through tubes to waiting trucks. But the birds tended to plug up the tubes and turn somersaults as they traveled inside the contraption. “We had too many die on us,” recalls Buddy Burruss, vice president of operations at Tip Top Poultry Inc. of Marietta, Ga., which tested and quickly abandoned the pneumatic approach two decades ago.

Incoming!!