Hey! Jeff Wells just did a great job putting into words the reason I’ve never been all that impressed with Glory, a movie everyone but Dave seems to find really moving:

Has there ever been an emptier, more contemptible finale than the one in GLORY, when the ridiculous willingness of Matthew Broderick, Morgan Freeman and the boys to march like wind-up tin soldiers right into a fusillade of Confederate lead and die a supremely pathetic death was saluted ad infinitum? The glory of being a warrior is in the surviving, for God's sake. Ask any veteran. Read JARHEAD.

Except for the JARHEAD part (here’s the book, but I haven’t read it), this is spot on.

[via Hollywood Elsewhere]

Disney Unveils Animatronic Dinosaur

MousePlanet via slashdot

Of course, Disney has lots of animatronics, but this one interested me because it was supposedly untethered and was able to walk around the park and eat kids and stuff. This is pretty incredible, because making a walking two legged dinosaur that is resistant to being pushed over is difficult.


It turns out the actual result is a bit of a cop-out, or as much of a cop-out as something that’s completely rad can be. The thing is indeed untethered and stuff, but it also tows a giant flower cart that hides all the computers and provides balance. The entire works is supposedly controlled by two guys hiding in the crowd with remote controls.

Also, make you sure you check out the video files on the MousePlanet site. They’re pretty badass.

Da Vinci Stolen From Scottish Castle

CNN Article.

Quoth the article: “[Police] said they wanted to trace a white Volkswagen car in connection with the robbery. ‘The car … contained four men, one of them wearing a large white hat,’ they added in a statement.”

In another installment of our ongoing feature “JesusH Gives Back“, we have agreed to help Scotland Police by hosting the following line-up of potential offenders. If anybody has any information on this troubling theft, please let us know.

And thank you.
Continue reading “Da Vinci Stolen From Scottish Castle”

Al Qaida claims responsibility for blackout

According to the extravagantly banner-laden World Tribune, “Al Qaida has issued the third communiqué by the Brigades” in which they accept responsibility for the big-ass North American blackout. [via Drudge]

Favorite line:

The Brigades say that they cannot reveal how they did it, because they will probably have to use the same method again soon.

Uh-huh. Here are one man’s predictions for upcoming Al Qaida communiqués we can look forward to seeing soon.

Fourth communiqué: “Our scientists created SARS in our secret laboratories, far from the eyes of heathen Westerners, and implanted it in Hong Kong, Pacific waypoint of the White Devils. Surrender, or we will hit you with a cross-breed of mad cow disease and the West Nile virus that would make Allah himself weep.”

Fifth communiqué: “Deep agents in the United States are responsible for the California gubernatorial campaigns of Gallagher, Gary Coleman, and the decidedly non-burka-wearing low woman Mary Carey. We expose the cultural bankruptcy of the United States through these brave actions and support these campaigns with donations from our Saudi Arabian brothers. Leave the Middle East at once, or it will get worse for you, George Bush.”

Sixth communiqué: “Americans only know one language: abject despair. Enough with diseases, power outages, and airliner sabotage. Now, as you yankees say, the gloves come off. We have infiltrated the decadent American district known as Hollywood and influenced FOX management into running Wanda At Large. Unless the United States converts en masse to Islam within 48 hours, we will have no choice but to revive Homeboys in Outer Space. You have been warned.”


Sorry for the coarse language, but it’s the weekend and we’re all letting it hang out just a bit, right?

Question for the day: how do you parse ‘asshat’?

The obvious answer seems to be ‘ass hat’, but it occurs to me that you could also split it up like ‘as shat’; that way, you could use the term to more or less call someone a piece of shit. I asked Deb about this a while back but I don’t remember what we came up with, if anything.

Man Makes Diamonds. Film At 11.

From Wired, here’s an interesting story about how two companies are making large gem-grade diamonds Mr. Wizard style [via Expect Nothing].

Remember, kids–always wear eye protection when dropping science on repressive cartels.

I’m excited about this process, not because I give a hang about jewelry, but because De Beers is an artificial monopoly mongering, blood diamond trafficking, eight month’s salary scamming pack of ravenous wombats, and when I am king, they’ll all be fast against the wall.


So scientists have created human/rabbit hybrid embryos. Strange. I mean, you’d think that the trials and tribulations of Bat Boy would have dissuaded those mad scientists from trying anything like this. But man just can’t help himself from playing God, so here we are, with Hubbit embryos made of foreskin just hanging out in the lab, no big whoop. Great.

Darth Hasenfeffer?
Continue reading “Manimal”

Franken and O’Reilly: A Study in Moron Duality

Comedian Al Franken’s latest book is about to hit stores. The book’s name is Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right. The name drew the attention of Fox News, which owns the “Fair & Balanced” trademark, and Fox is now suing Franken. The latest word on the situation is that Fox talking head Bill O’Reilly was a force behind the lawsuit–“for Bill, above all other things, this was a matter of honor and support,” a top source explained from New York. [Drudge]

Predictably, sales of Franken’s book have skyrocketed since the news of the suit hit the wires.
Continue reading “Franken and O’Reilly: A Study in Moron Duality”

Anti-Recall Strategy

As we talked about the California Governor recall earlier, something occured to me. Why hasn’t someone who is against this recall announced a “counter-recall” and pledge to recall whoever gets elected? It’d take some organization and some cash–as the initial recall effort did–but if the organizers moved quickly enough they could have a poison pill in place by the time whoever is elected takes office. In the future we might have someone with this type of disincentive to heading up a recall effort with the intent to become the next Governor.

That’d be so cool.

FBI releases totally cool ‘concealed weapons’ catalog

CNN article

The article is sort of neat, but the part that’s really exciting is the FBI catalog itself. Some of this stuff is way cool (a little holy cross thing that conceals a pocket knife! How totally rad! A knife hidden in a bullet, for easy smuggling into any place in which security is an issue! Genius!), but alas, I can’t seem to locate any ordering information in the catalog. Which is totally crappy, because it means I’ll have to do the legwork of finding one of these things myself, maybe at one of those cool gun shows they have down at the Scottish Rite center… I’ll be an unstoppable cutting machine! Hiiii-YA!

Davis Terminated

So after sparking countless newspaper articles citing inside sources saying that he wasn’t running, and reneging on his promise to release a statement right before he went on The Tonight Show, Arnold shocks everyone by announcing his candidacy for Governor of California. Pretty brilliant move.

In an election where 20% of the vote could realistically get you the top executive position, Arnold’s got to be the frontrunner if Davis is recalled. And he announced with a bang, as his people planted numerous fake media accounts indicating he wasn’t running (reporters were read a draft statement) and he’d throw his support behind Dick Riordan (Drudge reported that he’d announce he wasn’t running, and then introduce Riordan, who’d be hiding behind a curtain, as “The next Governor of California”). He’s got the showman’s streak, and is probably taking the best shot go Ron Reagan on the country.

Too bad I’m already committed to Larry Flynt.

Gayness, Continued

This brief post probably could have just as well gone at the end of my previous gay screed as a comment, but I probably won’t have anything else to talk about tonight so I might as well put it up here instead. It turns out that gay-rights has become something of a hot button issue for me (I suspect that also has something to do with the fact that it allows me to rail against the church at the same time. So, like, bonus). Who knew I’d be so down with the sistaz?

So anyway, Lance Arthur, who has a new site now (here was the old site, if you’re interested), wrote a response to Bush’s recent attack on gay marriage which is kind of similar to mine but far more comprehensive. I enjoyed it immensely. Also, my good friend Shlonglor (who does not know me) recently went on one of his frequent anti-gay rampages on his site, which me and some of the fellas have had some fun with. Unfortunately, due to our preoccupation with work stuff over the weekend, we didn’t start responding to the post until this morning (you’ll have to scroll quite a ways down to see our stuff). Nonetheless, we have gotten to have some fun with some of those who would keep the gay homiez down. I won’t tell you who is who: you’ll have to figure it out.

Fun and fun!

Battle of the Bands

I just found the San Diego Battle of the Bands website, which has apparently been running a series of multi-act shows with local bands where the attendees vote on the winner after each show and they move up to the next level.

When Deb and I lived in the apartment, we had a guy named Miles living upstairs from us who played guitar and sang in a band called Vocoder. They’ve made the finals, and they’ll be playing August 21 at Winston’s. I’m going to head over there and check it out, and I invite all of you to come along.

I don’t listen to them that often, but there’s worse stuff on the radio all the time.

Carpool Lanes

Apparently Caltrans has decided to open up the carpool lanes on I-15 on weekends.

That reminds me of something I noticed when I was in Concord a couple of weeks back. There are carpool lanes all over the route I drove once I got off I-5, but they were peak hours carpool lanes–from 6-9AM and 4-7PM on weekdays, only carpools could use these lanes, but any other time, anyone could use them.

That seems like a damned good idea to me, and I hope we develop this further around here.

I was going to go off on a Seinfeldian rant about “wahaht is up with these soccer moms and senior citizens who insist in using the carpool lane any time they’ve got other people in the car, and then they drive slower than the flow of traffic on the rest of the freeway? Do they think using the carpool lane is mandatory for drivers with more than one person in the car? WTF?!”, but I just got kind of busy, so I’ll leave you with that.