Chargers Update

I’m sitting here watching the Chargers absolutely smoke the Chiefs, which really could have been predicted by anyone paying attention.

LaDanian Tomlinson might be the best running back in the game today; he’s certainly top two or three. But the guy I really enjoy watching is Drew Brees, who is working on a 24-game streak in which he’s making the best decisions I’ve ever seen a Chargers quarterback make. He’s got an uncanny feel for the pocket collapsing; he’ll consistently thread the needle, trust his recievers to make a play on the ball, and keep the ball off the turf; he’s always looking for the long-yardage play, keeping the team moving down the field. I’ve never seen better sustained performance.

I believe despite their record this team is better than anyone I’ve seen this year. They’re going to beat Indy.

Happy Halloween Week!

It’s autumn; there’s a nip in the air, the sky is grey every day, and the spiders are now out in full force. Soon the neighborhood kids will be at the door, imploring for yet more candy. And we will give it to them, yes we will.

At times like this my thoughts inevitably turn to JesusH’s very own patron saint of chaos. Won’t you join me in paying homage?

oh so diabolical!
© 1997 EMW Corp., All Rights Reserved.

Saudis: Eventually, we might let women drive

Here’s an inspiring article in which the daughter of Saudi King Abdullah says that someday Saudi women might be drivers and members of government.

It’s sad that the United States even deals with these assbags. I’ve noticed a distinct tendency among more liberal-trending pundits to emphasize that Islamicism does not create terrorists–that’s US foreign policy blowback’s job–but there’s really no way that you can argue much equivalency between the majority of the differences of Middle Eastern and Western social values. We’re right, they’re wrong, and I’d love to see us call a spade a spade. If only we didn’t need that oil so much…

Back By Popular Demand

For the kids: a rehash of a really old college HTML project. Also note the 2001 era Kinementium jokes. Sweet.

As a very special fourth anniversary behind-the-scenes look at Escape From Killgore Island, I feel that everything has calmed down to the point where I can safely disclose that the picture of the “Little Boy In Peril” on the cover is actually none other than a six-year old Brent, wearing his badasss Star Wars Wookietron Action Belt, hence:

…that’s just a little glimpse behind the magic.

A Serious Question

Hi everybody, this is Jeff. I have a serious question.

Say you have, like 15 hours of (prepare to have your mind blown) DVD-quality VHS dubs digitized on your computer. Total disk size: 47 GB. You want to take these video clips (which, as with all video clips, may or may not be actual goat porn) and put them on your website for the amusement of literally tens of people all over the world. You don’t want you fans to have to install a whole bunch of junk to be able to watch your videos. You can convert or compress the video in any way you please. What are your options?

Does anybody know of any random jackass who has undertaken such a feat on their random jackass website?

Hey everybody: thanks.

A Curious Observation

So in the interest of being a good citizen, I’ve been indulging in two great pastimes this week: jury duty and taking the bus. Both are thrilling experiences, but the latter gave me the best line I’ve heard in years.

Yesterday, I was sitting in my customary seat near the rear door, roaring down Manchester Blvd. toward Inglewood City Hall. Three rows back sat a young man in hip hop attire, placidly listening to music on headphones and not bothering anyone. Two girls, maybe 17 or so, got on and made their way to his row, plopping down and commencing to rag on him.

These were the type of girls who’d have been known alternatively as instigators (instagataz, if you prefer) or hasslers (hasslaz, I suppose) had they been Gompers students. I remember many of them from Mr. Shelton’s science class, the kind who always had both gum and big earrings.

“Hey,” one said, pausing to snap the gum. “Is you a playa?”

The gentleman answered that he was, in fact, a playa. The other one took issue with his contention.

“Has you got a pen?” she demanded.

He did, graciously handing it over.

“Shit,” the first said. “Playaz don’t have pens. How can you be a playa with a pen? Playaz don’t need to write.”

I believe at this point, she was using the Geto Boys logic of (forgive the profanity, I’m quoting from their critically lauded anthem “Damn, It Feels Good to Be a Gangster”) “And real gangsta-ass niggas don’t run for shit/ Cuz real gangsta-ass niggas can’t run fast.” Under that framework, playaz need to spend their time hustlin’ and improving their game, thus they’d have no need for a pen.

So anyhow, she starts writing with the pen.

“Hey playa,” she asked. “What’s the date today?”

Now he was no dummy, he knew that engaging them in any way, even to help them out, was dangerous. So he played it off and offered a simple “no.”

“Aww!” the second girl clowned. “How can you be a playa and not know the date? Shit!”

At this point, he appeared to be having some sort of a conversation in his head. I had to surmise what came next in his internal monologue.

“Say, James,” his brain said to himself. “That girl’s sure giving you a hard time. How whack!”

“Yes, sir!” he answered, out loud.

“It’s ‘yes, ma’am,'” the first girl said.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” he said.

And I just rolled on to the courthouse.

A Ten-Gallon Hat, Some Needles, Some Wool–And You’re Set!

*sniff*
Oh, please excuse me for a moment.
*honk!*

It has certainly been a tough week here at JesusH, but I, for one, am amply gratified by the suggestion that, while we may pause to pay our respects to those who are no longer with us, we must also soldier on–keeping the flame alive, as it were and so to speak. So, in accordance with this renewed esprit de vivre I join my fellow JesusH-ers in sending a “fare thee well” in poor, bedeviled Charles Rocket’s direction (though I confess I am at most passingly familiar with his work; but as he shares his first name with three gentlemen of varying fineness of my acquaintance, and his surname, of course, needs no further explication of its coolness, I can’t but help feeling a measure of sentimental pathos to accompany the compassion i feel in hearing his story) and resolving to move on to new things, to cultivate my life’s passions, and to encourage those around me to do so as well.

el vaquero con la lana
el vaquero con la lana — !Ay!

To the ends of these three matters I would like to direct your attention, if you please, to this most dramatic, pointed, and concise image. Consider: the lone, industrious cowboy astride his gallant pony, performing a most absorbing–yet in essence, simple–craft. His gaze steady, his fingers nimble…few things are as beautiful as a man in his element, doing what he loves. You can imagine him returning to the ranch, dusty and parched from the day’s work. His fatigue cannot disguise his pride, though, when he reaches into his saddlebag and gently lifts out the beautiful shawl he’s toiled over for his sweetheart, who gets chilled while she telecommutes from her drafty office.

The things we do every day–the very little choices we make from moment to moment–can be things of joy. And to act purposefully is rewarding in itself, no matter how humble the purpose is–it clears the mind and readies one for conviction. Riding animals of the equine persuasion can be mighty fun, even for those who do it daily. But can you imagine riding and creating something new with your own two hands?

Moment of Silence, Concluded.

By now you’ve probably noticed that for the last few days JesusH staff have been observing a moment of silence content-wise for Official JesusH Comic Actor of the Century Charles Rocket, who was found dead on Oct 7. In addition to our enterprise-wide affection for Rocket’s impressive comic abilities–check his star turn as the unctuous Nicholas Andre in Dumb & Dumber–he died of a throat slitting, which made it seem like he was up to more seedily interesting things than your average Hollywood blowhard and only enhanced the Rocket legend.

Charles Rocket
Dead.

Imgine our surprise when authorities said that Rocket offed himself. Visions of Mafia toughs, intricate plots with lots of sneaky foreigners involved, and millions of dollars due bookies spent on snorting cocaine off of a high-priced hooker’s ass disappeared into the ether, and we’re left with another celeb loser checking himself out just a little bit early.


Unimpressed.

There’s no way we’re extending a moment of silence for this guy any more; we’re back in business, so get ready for action.

Midstate Office Supply

I just found the website for Midstate Office Supply. Midstate Office Supply, is, of course, the employer of swelltastic Onion columnist/Accountz Reeceevable Supavizzle Herbert Kornfeld.

The site is pretty much what you’d expect for the state’s finest dealer of office supplies and business machines, with interesting tidbits such as:

Add Another “Skeel” To Herbert’s Repertoire

Accounts Receivable Supervisor Herbert Kornfeld wants everyone to know that he is trained in CPR, so if anybody has a heart attack during work hours, don’t fuck with no expensive ambulance—just see him.

Truly inspired.

Review: The Original Cel-Ray™

The other day I decided to travel to the exotic and vastly misunderstood land of Temescal. Temescal–with its rich heritage of blacksmiths, fruit and vegetable packers, men and women! Temescal–with one of the best transfer stations in the BART system, a cleverly named yarn store, and its own creek! Since Temescal is an Oaktown neighborhood, it isn’t unusual to run into people who blanch at the idea of visiting. Those people are fools.

But this review is not about those people, nor is it about Temescal (because, clearly, Temescal is where it’s at).

I secretly wanted to visit a bakery I’d never been to, but having skipped breakfast and not yet having had lunch, I thought it’d be a little naughty to eat fun baked goods without having consumed a real meal all day. What to do, what to do? Ah, yes! Across the street–the beloved Genova Delicatessen, a Temescal staple! My companion and I hastily crossed over to get sandwiches.

Once the sandwich master had my order, I wandered over to the refrigerator that held various drinks. And there it was–the first and last thing that caught my eye. Before I knew it I’d opened the glass-paned door and snatched it up.

Continue reading “Review: The Original Cel-Ray™”

Uh-oh, politics

I’m on this outstanding and extremely secret mailing list where the members are generally quite well-informed, educated, and interesting. Or maybe I’m not.

On that mailing list, there’s been a lot of talk lately about the Democratic party. This is a strongly liberal bunch so pretty much without exception there’s dismay on the list about the state of affairs in American politics, and lately there’s been a discussion thread about what to do about it. The prevailing opinion is that the Dems need to start at the grassroots level, build up a nationwide organization that mirrors what the Republicans did after they started getting their asses handed to them in the last half of last century, try to influence hearts and minds on a local and municipal level, and shape the next fifty years of American politics in that fashion.
Continue reading “Uh-oh, politics”

The Morning Sun

It was a nice morning this morning. It was a little cold when I woke up–ah, summer, I already miss you–but the Santa Ana conditions in San Diego have driven all clouds far away and on the way to work out the sun was really bright and clear.

Vince and I did some medicine ball crap out back of the gym, and the sun was even brighter out there, as we were positioned exactly so the light hit us in the eyes. I learnt a couple of things:

1. An extraordinarily sweaty t-shirt looks like it is festooned with glitter under that kind of light. Kind of pretty, actually, as long as you don’t get too close.

2. I discovered that by leaning against the cinderblock wall for a minute between sets I was making sweat angels. I don’t recall seeing those so clearly ever before.

If there’s a take-home lesson here, it’s stay the hell away from me while I’m working out lest you get slimed… but looking beyond that, all the fine artistes I know who talk about the importance of a good light source might just be on to something.

Mad Hot Ballroom

If the serial monogamist, elder-abandoning, take-care-of-your-own (and your own only) mindset of the penguins in March of the Penguins is the hallmark of the perfect documentary for conservatives, then the heady exuberance of youth exposed to the arts, the dedication of public school teachers, and the triumph of compassion and discipline combined featured in Mad Hot Ballroom are likewise irresistibly attractive to movie-going progressives.

Mad Hot Ballroom: not for sucks
Mad Hot Ballroom: Not For Sucks

Filmmakers Amy Sewell and Marilyn Agrelo filmed and interviewed participants of American Ballet Theater’s Dancing Classrooms program–a program developed over the last ten years to give New York City’s fifth-grade public school students a taste of the genteel art form. The program–and the movie–conclude with representatives of each school entering a competition which comes across less Cutthroat Melodrama and more Showcase of Excellence. Sewell and Agrelo used that footage to put together an entirely entertaining, heartbreaking, inspiring drama about these ten-year-olds, who range, at the beginning of the program, from open-minded good sports to coolly disaffected scrubs. Just a few classes with the energetic and charming ballroom dance teachers, and the kids lose any ambivalence or reticence toward their partners and the dances themselves. The ever-constant, never-flagging enthusiasm and support of the classroom teachers visibly bolster the kids’ growing confidence, and you find yourself witnessing their transformations into hard-working, determined dancers.

Continue reading “Mad Hot Ballroom”

Oh, yeah

I forgot to mention: if anyone wants to see a bunch of pictures of our recent trip to Norway, you can check out a whole buttload of them at Holstads.com: the worldwide hub for all things Holstad. Call me biased, but I personally think that the most representative cross-section of pictures (that is, if you’re lazy and don’t want to look at all 3232 images) can be found in my Mom’s collection, here. However, there are a number of other excellent Holstad photographers present as well. Knock yourselves out.

We also uploaded a selection of my grandpa’s old pictures. They are just random photos from my mom’s family, refreshingly devoid of context or description, but still chock-full of rousing badassitude.

In closing: booyah.

Solar Flower Power

“Support the San Diego Asian Film Festival. Buy a T-shirt” urged the attractive, Filipino male at the table. I stopped to take a look at what he had to offer: tees and beanies in various colors with the SDAFF logo and miniature stuffed turtles.

I wanted to support the foundation, but I had already spent a lot of money on DVDs at the adjacent booth. As I turned to leave, I detected some movement in my periphery. There was something partially obscured by shirts and tucked away in the back of the booth. I leaned in for a closer look. Encased in a see-through container was an artificial flower with leaves that bobbed up and down in a mesmerizing manner. I was transfixed. It was oddly therapeutic and somehow, I felt like I had seen it before.

“Hey, did you get that from ThinkGeek?” I asked.
“What?”
“Is that from ThinkGeek?”
“Thinkgeek?”
“Never mind. I want the flower. How much is the flower?”
“Um… let me check. Hey Ed, is that thing for sale?”
“… I guess so. Yeah, okay.”
“She wants to buy the flower. How much is it?”
“Uh… I don’t know. 10 dollars.”
“It’s a deal.”

As I handed over the cash, I couldn’t help but feel as though I had just gotten away with something.

As it turns out, ThinkGeek carries essentially the same product sans flower under the alliterative name of Flip Flap. Their dancing leaves rely on solar power too. However, with a price tag of almost three times what I paid, I’m perfectly content with my Flower. Moreover, my plant is versatile in that the included flora is removable. I can change it depending on the season or at my whim, ensuring that the plant will grow with me. Watching the leaves fluctuate from a gentle swaying to a frenzied teeter-tottering and back brings a smile to my face. Those who say that happiness can’t be bought have obviously never owned a Flower. It is truly, profoundly nifty.

Behold! See the Flower in action on Jeff’s work desktop. (Quicktime required)

Digital Camaras

I am hunting for a camara that I can take to Europe this November. I am not quite sure where to begin on my search. Are there any particular sites out there that anyone can recommend? I hear that Canon camaras are they way to go, but is there another option? I am pretty sure that I want above 5 megapixels with SLR/Professional capabilities. I am planning to take a photography class next spring and would like a camara that does more than standard point and shoot.

Any advise would be appreciated.

Serenity

I just got home from watching Joss Whedon’s new film Serenity. If you are not a FireFly fan, then I strongly encourage you to go to your local movie buying palace and purchase for yourself the first season of FireFly. If you would rather see the movie first, then please by all means do so. As a fan I recommend seeing the TV series first. Joss did an okay job at “catching up” on the history of the crew, but it would be best to get the history from the show.

The movie was absolutely awesome! There were thrills, shrills, and chills that the show never captured. I went into this movie looking for answers to mysteries that have plagued my mind since the show went off the air. I left the theater still not knowing the answers. Do you know what is so cool about that? Joss really knows how to piss a fan off and still get them to love his work.

The witty banter between the characters is hilarious and the fighting scenes are exhilarating. The graphics were impeccable. Joss has done a mighty fine job. I can’t wait for his next adventure. Here’s hoping to Angel, the movie!

I give Serenity 5 stars!