Training Log

  • Zero Hour (Tue, Wed 18): Notice story about a benefit run for Pat Tillman’s charitable foundation.
  • T + 1 (Wed): Out of curiousity, look up Pat’s Run. Discover a second edition in San Jose on April 30. Stumble upon unfortunately-named “Super Clydesdale” entry class for racers 275 lbs or more.
    I’m currently 277 lbs. I consider this a sign. I sign up online.
  • T + 2 (Thu): In warmups before working out, jog 1 mile on the treadmill. Not too hard. 10:50 mile, could have gone a little quicker. Knee feels a little funny.
  • T + 3 (Fri): In Seattle. Run/walk ~2 miles in about 25:00 in a frigging cold rain. Knee’s barking a little more.
  • T + 5 (Sun): In Othello. Run/walk about the same distance in about the same time, with no rain. Knee’s now tangibly uncomfortable. Wonder whether Mom’s advice to topically apply castor oil is pseudo-health science or not.
  • T + 7 (Tue): Exchange cash for extra-large knee brace with the good folks at Big 5. Hopefully wearing the brace resolves the issues.
    Should have run. Didn’t.
  • T + 9 (Thu): Brace still doesn’t make this knee exactly right, though it helps quite a bit. To tell the truth, I’m a little concerned. I’ve literally never had a serious knee problem before, and at my height, weight, and age, I consider myself extremely fortunate. I’ll run–or get as close to running as I can–through Sunday, to pay my respects to Tillman. After that, I’m hoping it just heals if I stop running, which I will surely do voluntarily.
    Ran/powerwalked ~2.1 miles in about 22 minutes. I don’t see any reason why I can’t make it twice that distance at about that pace, or maybe even a little faster–I think I could have run further if I’d started running further away from the finish line in my test trial.
    According to the Tempe results, that time would place fourth of ten if I had turned it in in Tempe. According to the coverage of the Tempe event, about 8000 people raced. According to prerace material I’ve been emailed, the organizers are hoping for 3000 people for the San Jose event. Assuming a similar ratio, I’m racing against 3 people, 0-2 of whom are likely to be faster than me. Wonder if third place gets a trophy or something?
    (Sadly, I bet even if the trophy exists, it will not be made of chocolate. So I’ll pick up some chocolate while I’m up there. Let me know if you want anything.)

Season’s Greetings

big, badass bun

“Oh man, Peter better
not give me any shit about
this photo or i’m gonna
have to kick his ass!”

I looked out the window today and found that I could pretend no longer; the evidence was incontrovertible. The sun has returned to warm this part of the Earth, and I thought–with the seasonal change and all–it was high time to end the cold freeze of the short hiatus that followed my (sorta) successful experiment in posting a ton, rapid-fire. And–what the hell. I’d do it with long, clause-crazy, meandering sentences. And questionable punctuation.

So, goodbye sweetly interminable rainstorms! Hello blue skies and high pollen counts! Spring is come, love is in the air, the puddles are drying up, blooms of all colors and mushrooms of varying pliability are sprouting, and–wtf?! Is that a Radioactive, D. Carota-Mauling, Juggernaut Bunny??! Run for your lives!!

Maybe I’ll reconsider emerging from hibernation…just until it’s safe.

~~~

  • @ the BBC: Bounty Hunters Hired to Dispatch Beast From Hell
  • National Geographic furnishes a nearly identical article with a photo of a spectacular (but innocent) specimen of Oryctolagus cuniculus.
  • Liquidface Checks Out

    Exxon Chairman Lee Raymond has gotten himself a nifty retirement package, according to ABC News. Some of the listed perks include “a $1 million consulting deal, two years of home security, personal security, a car and driver, and use of a corporate jet for professional purposes”.

    liquidface.jpg
    Outgoing Exxon chair Raymond, whose enormous face is slowly leaking down his body. This condition was apparently not addressed in his retirement package.

    I’m no CEO, but I don’t even want my day job paying for my cell phone because I use it so much for personal business. Why the hell do these multi-millionaires need their former employers to pay for home security and car service in addition to $400 million in hard valuta?

    Maybe it’s a keep-up-with-the-Joneses thing. Perhaps there’s a club of ex-execs who get together every so often and compare their retirement packages like middle-class wage-slaves might compare features on their respective barbecue grilles or 0-60 times for their lower-end midlife-crisis sports coupes. I feel like I’m a pretty materialistic person, but I simply can’t understand the parameters of most of these deals.

    (PS: if you see Raymond’s photo above, uploads work again. That was a real tough fix.)

    Janet Aiko Sekiguchi (1976-2002)

    If you went to Gompers Secondary in the late ’80s-early ’90s, you may remember Janet Sekiguchi. I don’t feel that I knew Janet all that well–we participated in some after-school clubs and whatnot together and had lunch once or twice after I graduated–but I always liked her and thought that she was destined to do great things.

    As tends to happen post-high school, we lost touch. Unfortunately, I didn’t hear anything about what she’d been up to untill someone stumbled across an obituary for her.

    Some friends of Janet’s have started a foundation in her memory, and there are some good photos of her and stories about her already available on the site (though you’ll have to click around to get to them). It isn’t every 25-year-old that has such a memorial created for them; I don’t know much about what Janet did post-Gompers, but she obviously touched a lot of lives in her too-short time in this world.

    American Idol, the Cliff’s Notes

    Much of the fun of watching American Idol this season is guessing what state of sobriety Paula Abdul will be in each week.  Ok, half the fun is reading about it later on the excellent TVGasm, home of the Elliot/Alf side by side.  But Paula’s predictably unpredictable and reason enough to watch.

    Here’s a word for word transcript of her comments tonight to Chris Daughtry after he sang some obscure Queen song.  No, context doesn’t really help.

    Chris, I mean, that last note, that was like, what, a high seas?  What did you, di, ah… Lemme, ah, Chris, the region that you the bands probably never performed it live is because they probably don’t want to and only you probably could and there’ve been more times that you have superceded even when the band performs, that’s why you should look back at the package and watch how they are in admiration over your performance.

    The best was a few weeks ago, when Ryan Seacrest asked why two contestants were in the bottom three (in near tears as they were about to be kicked off the show), she replied (between uncontrollable giggles) “Simon said it was because one of them ate pizza and one of them ate salad.”  Again, context doesn’t really help.

    The drug induced rants (allegedly), the absurdly inappropriate cleavage, the seal clap, the general retardedness… I gotta say I’m a big fan.

    P.S. I’d post a funny Paula pic here, but the redesigned site still doesn’t accept image uploads (from me, anyway).

    Notice: Important Commercial Opportunities Contained Within

    landolf10000 (12:03:19 AM): pease jay, because you dont have enough dvds: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/602-7581593-2751800?asin=B00062IVLC
    peasejay (12:04:37 AM): Whoa, that’s whack-assedly cheap
    landolf10000 (12:05:04 AM): i know. i was considering buying it
    landolf10000 (12:05:10 AM): until i slapped myself upside the head
    landolf10000 (12:05:11 AM): and said
    landolf10000 (12:05:18 AM): ‘self, its ‘rocky”.
    peasejay (12:06:45 AM): It might be worth it if it came with some cool special features, like all the Indiana Jones movies on side 2 of the discs or something.
    peasejay (12:06:59 AM): You know, some other, better series of movies
    landolf10000 (12:07:12 AM): rocky/police academy action pack
    peasejay (12:07:17 AM): Final Destination perhaps
    peasejay (12:07:31 AM): Yeah, that’s be great!
    peasejay (12:08:06 AM): Every night of the week could be a rock ’em, sock ’em Rocky/Police Academy double header
    landolf10000 (12:08:11 AM): that’d be so friggin sweet, i instantly cant envision a world where one of those isnt in every citizens house.
    peasejay (12:09:48 AM): you’d laugh, you’d cry, you’d really THINK.
    peasejay (12:10:53 AM): The Rocky/Sweetchuck Dichotomy: a thesis by Jeff Pease
    landolf10000 (12:17:10 AM): *the Tack Pack*
    landolf10000 (12:17:27 AM): proceeds benefit david graf memorial wackjob fund.
    peasejay (12:17:55 AM): The entire thing could culminate in a Very Special crossover film Policy Academy 14: Rocky, New Recruit. It’d be perfect since you know that everybody would be glad to do it since their careers are all, shall we say, on a low ebb.
    peasejay (12:18:31 AM): All the originals would be back except for the dead ones, like George Gaines.
    peasejay (12:20:53 AM): Moses Hightower: I was a florist.
    Carey Mahoney: A florist?
    Moses Hightower: Yeah, you know, flowers and shit.
    landolf10000 (12:21:14 AM): HAHA
    landolf10000 (12:21:19 AM): you are a sick bastard.
    peasejay (12:21:54 AM): I’m totally high on Police Academy now.

    Your Mama, In Concert

    This video was featured a long time ago on Shlonglor, where he described it as “Hilarious”. And if you know nothing else about Shlonglor, know this: the man knows funny. Witness as he defends its honor in the comments section of the page in question:

    that was just lame and painful to watch/listen!
    gotta dip my eyes in acid now…

    Wrong, that song rules. You suck…

    So here’s the thing: I haven’t the slightest idea who this douche is or why he named himself after a monstrous MTV VJ. These questions are not for us to ponder. What I will say is that this song, and its accompanying music video, are a gift from the heavens, that ask nothing more from us than that we simply… enjoy.

    Yo Mama: The Music Video