Yard Work, Part Deux

We decided to build on the progress made last week by tackling the lanai today. As was the case last week, work didn’t stop until both trash bins were full of greenery.

The patio is now usable for things like barbecues or sitting on and reflecting, which is nice, but the good news doesn’t stop there; other than some comparatively wimpy overgrowth in the side yard and a front yard that needs a couple of hours of work, the non-maintenance yardwork is about done.



Side view, before

Side view, after

Yard Work

Now that it’s not quite as hot, I’m taking the uncharacteristic step of working on the yard. My intention is to achieve better and more complete use of the property, leverage the area for some autumnal backyard barbecues, and force the people who hassle me about the state of nature in my backyard to come up with something else to hassle me about.

I was about ready to quit anyway, but I was forced to stop work late this afternoon when both my standard-issue city sanitation trash bins filled up completely with clippings. I will have to avoid creating refuse until trash day.



Bush to attend Borat summit with Kazakhstan Prez

President Bush will hold talks with Kazakhstan President Nursultan (he’s not just Sultan… he’s Nur Sultan!) Nazarbayev to discuss Ali G’s character, Borat’s, depiction of Kazakhs as anti-semitic and incestual. Borat responded to the controversy by saying:

In response to Mr. Ashykbayev’s comments, I’d like to state I have no connection with Mr. Cohen and fully support my Government’s decision to sue this Jew.

Since the 2003 Tuleyakiv reforms, Kazakhstan is as civilized as any other country in the world.

Women can now travel on inside of bus, homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hats, and age of consent has been raised to eight years old.

According to President Bush, “ending the mockery of Kazakhstan is the calling of our generation.”

Dave’s short story submission

I saw the following quote and it reminded me that I hadn’t entered the short story contest yet.

“The war against this enemy is more than a military conflict. It is the decisive ideological struggle of the 21st century, and the calling of our generation.” — GW Bush, 9/11/06

Can we stop dignifying the war on terror as a calling on the level of, oh, I dunno, any time the United States has waged war in the last century? Let’s look at the facts.

  • WWI was about aristocrat monarchists in first-world countries getting theirs.
  • WWII was the world declaring itself full up of crazy already, sorry.
  • Korea and Vietnam were the logical conclusion of the domino theory during the height of the USSR’s power.
  • You can be capable of cynicism and still allow that Desert Storm was about the repatriation of a free people as well as a spanking of a dictator with little international legitimacy making a bald faced oil grab.

We had an ideological or strategic question to answer in every one of these campaigns, even if the question wasn’t always answered in our favor.

Who are we fighting in the war on terror? I really don’t believe Iraq is at all about the war on terror, though the Bush administration might still protest; if you aren’t similarly skeptical, we can discuss it, but it seems like a conclusion that’s achieved traction everywhere but the country music and raving neo con sectors, and you don’t want to lump yourself in with them, do you?

So let’s forget Iraq. In the war on terror, we had 9/11, and 9/11 was a truly terrible thing. But, regardless of my tendency to call George Bush an awful president:

  • I truly believe that the Taliban’s reduction to all the efficacy of a wrinkled photograph of Grandma Moses will give pause to any cowboy government that operates in buildings and shit and is thinking about helping out terrorists right in front of America’s nose;
  • bin Laden and his crazy bastard cronies have lost their power base and been demoralized and destabilized and incarcerated because of this;
  • and al-Qaeda operations worldwide were largely decommissioned by US efforts. In my mind’s eye, I’m picturing an abandoned motorcycle near the Columbia River in Astoria, Oregon. A hawk cries in the distance. The wind blows through the spokes. The leather of the saddlebags and seats was long ago eaten through. The frame is gutted and rusted beyond repair, because, let’s be honest: is anyone going to be abandoning a nice ride near a river? Even in Oregon?

    Much like al-Quada, that bike’s not going anywhere.

So what’s left? Jose Padilla is left. You remember how many column inches were wasted on this guy? Well it turns out that

He told his questioners that Padilla was ignorant on the subject of nuclear physics and believed he could separate plutonium from nuclear material by rapidly swinging over his head a bucket filled with fissionable material.

"Free Padilla"? "Charge Padilla"? Beyond "Send Padilla’s Dumb Ass a printout of the wikipedia page on nuclear power", I can’t get behind much as far as this guy’s concerned. I don’t particularly care what he thinks about US culture or government in general or me in particular, and I sure don’t feel threatened by him. As far as justice goes I’m much more concerned about the fate of the West Memphis Three than that of Jose Padilla.

Anyone who said “hehe, but sending Padilla the wikipedia page for nuclear power will give him the information he needs to drop the bomb” and is an American is part of the problem, by the way. No, Jose Padilla is never going to amount to anything. I’m willing to bet our collective lives that we’re wasting our time concerning ourselves overmuch with him. Illegally tap his phone, tail him if you really want him in jail and wait for him to do something stupid and actually illegal, and then take him down. Subject him to public mockery. Make him wear–I dunno, what’s the terrorist equivalent of the scarlet letter? How about a red leather jacket?


I don’t care. I’m just tired of hearing about him.

Maybe the war on terror is about keeping us safe from Richard Reed and his ilk, who would love to blow up another plane in these sensitive times to really make us Americans bow down and listen up when the government says “hey, folks, we’re going to burn more of our international political capital, kill some more people, and take away some more of your civil rights to keep you safe, and to finance this we’re going to need you to each put $453.00 in an envelope and send it to us immediately, ok?” we should think about how Richard Reed didn’t do dick. The passengers took care of business, just like you could have predicted they would after 9-11 showed them how terrorists roll.

The most important thing that ineffective ass wipe has ever done is ensure that I have to take off my shoes every time I board a plane, unless I was smart and wore flip-flops. And that’ll only work for a few more months.

The gel bombers failed. Why, some say their plan would have been ineffective at best, and that’s if passengers don’t catch wind of something and open up a can of whoop ass like they did with Reid. I mean, answer this question for me: Excuse me, sir, but I’ve lost my glasses. Is this the train to Denver?

Scratch that. My question actually is: can we stop building our international policy around handling these assholes?

Terrorism is a running dog. Nothing has happened since 9-11. Let’s keep looking at the bad guys, but let’s also be honest: our enemy is outgunned, outbrained, outmoneyed, forced to operate in an atmosphere of general unfriendliness and in deepest secret, and has forever surrendered the moral high ground. The war on terror ought to be as embarrassing a mismatch as Chargers-Raiders was for the black hats.

Like Ron Burgundy says–it’s science.

Speaking of science, something worthwhile, like coming up with an alternative for fossil fuel so we can quit giving a shit what a theocratic douche clown does based on how much oil he’s sitting on top of–that I could get behind… but the war on terror being “the calling of our generation”?

On George W. Bush’s generation’s behalf, I fucking hope not.

Liquids, Arabic Literacy, and Bonnie Tyler

A group of passengers are suing AirFrance after Bonnie Tyler sang on their flight, claiming they “feared for their safety”.

The passengers, believed to be Belgian, complained to the airline after the Welsh singer performed part of her 1983 hit “Total Eclipse of the Heart” at the request of the co-pilot, who retired after the flight, The Mail on Sunday reported.

So I guess we should add 80’s Pop Singers to the list of things that pose a threat to air passenger security.

More Foley

Steve Foley, who we discussed a couple of days ago, is refusing to talk to the cops as he’s recovering from being shot by one.

Interesting passage from this article:

Mansker identified himself as an off-duty officer when he pulled up next to Foley at a stoplight, but he never unclipped his badge and held it up at any point, Brugos said.

OK, hang on… if a random dude in a black Mazda identifies himself as a cop to me at 3AM while I’m driving the eminently-carjackable Pimpmobile and doesn’t even bother flashing a badge, I’m supposed to take his word for it?

Especially if I’m a large black man with a history of disagreements with law dogs that have resulted in a single conviction, likely giving me one hell of a persecution complex?

Especially if I’m purportedly drunk?

As far as I can tell, Officer Mansker pretty much totally fucked this case up. At least he works on Coronado, which can handle the dollars attached to the lawsuit that is surely coming from Foley’s direction.

Slow day at the office

Michelle is gone for two weeks, I’m bored and JesusH standards of content have never been looser, so . .. I’m playing poker.

Dealer: Game #5105341874 starts.
Dealer: ** Dealing down cards **
Dealer: davidmpease does not show cards.
#5105341874: davidmpease wins $5.50
kerplunkit: jesus . . .
Dealer: Game #5105343949 starts.
Dealer: ** Dealing down cards **
bunshin21: what did u have?
Dealer: ** Dealing Flop ** [ 7h, 8s, 4d ]
davidmpease: aa
davidmpease: suited
bunshin21: LOL
Dealer: ** Dealing Turn ** [ 3c ]
Dealer: ** Dealing River ** [ 8c ]
Dealer: davidmpease shows two pairs, eights and twos.
Dealer: VegasHouse doesn’t show
#5105343949: davidmpease wins $8.55 from the main pot with two pairs, eights and twos.
kerplunkit: OLO


  • Chargers linebacker Steve Foley’s career, most likely, when he had a cap dropped in his ass several times by an off-duty cop. No word on Foley’s condition as of yet, but taking three bullets one week before the start of your age-31 comeback-from-injury season isn’t helpful.

    Here’s an enjoyable Football Outsiders discussion thread on the subject, featuring the following observation from poster johnt in response to the question of excessive force:

    Steve Foley is like 6’4″ 270. And not a jolly doughboy 270, either, more like a UFC style 270. If he’s coming at me and I have a gun and a nightstick I sure as shit am not choosing the nightstick.

    Guess the rest of those 10 linebackers the team broke camp with will come in useful this year.

  • Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin’s life, as he was terminated by a stingray. Irwin seemed like a nice enough guy–I dug the enthusiasm, to a point–and I mean him and his no disrespect when I say that most of the stuff my brother wrote about Roy post-tiger-mauling applies in spades to Irwin as well.

    If you had him in your dead pool–crikey! Good for you.