2008 Voting Guide

For this election’s voting guide we’re going to skip past the presidential election: not only is the outcome a foregone conclusion, but not enough of you listened to us last time we tried that. So let’s hit the proposition circuit.

If you are in California, please vote against Proposition 8 on Tuesday.

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Like all good things, the 2008 JesusH Voting Guide fits on the face of a pumpkin.

The asinine “protect marriage” crowd is busy telling you all sorts of horrible things about gay marriage’s legality in California, but here’s the straight scoop: homosexuals ought to have exactly the same rights as heterosexuals, no more and no less, and their ability to enter into a life partnership that exactly matches the one that man and woman can enter into should not be subject to the whims of people who shake their head and say “no, I’m just not comfortable with that.”

Until 1943, Chinese immigrants did not have the right to become US citizens and vote. My wife could never have acquired the same rights and responsibilities of United States citizenship that Paris Hilton has, no matter how hard she worked or how much better she made America, because she was born in China and Hilton was born here. That is Extremely Fucking Nuts, and we know it now, but I’m sure back then there was a bunch of people shaking their heads and saying “no, I’m just not comfortable with Chinese having a path to citizenship and enfranchisement.”

Read the rest of the Voting Rights Timeline if you have time. It’s an eye-opener.

That’s a jarringly recent example of constipation of justice in the United States, but this country has a long history of that kind of nonsense. If someone *doesn’t* have the same rights as you, they ought to have done something felonious to get themselves in that position. Being born homosexual shouldn’t count. In fifty years, this will look as silly to everyone as barring Chinese people from access to citizenship looks to us now. This isn’t the first time we’ve covered the gay marriage issue around here, and we haven’t changed our tune one note.

Let’s all do our part to ensure equal treatment for Californians regardless of sexual orientation on Tuesday.

Non-Soapbox-y postscript: I left my jack o’ lantern in front of the house Halloween night and the next morning the “Yes on 8” organization had kindly left me a voting reminder right in front of it.

Don't Forget!
Really stupid, really funny, or both: you be the judge.

Thanks, Yes on 8 team! I’m still ashamed of you, but I got a chuckle out of it.