2008 Voting Guide

For this election’s voting guide we’re going to skip past the presidential election: not only is the outcome a foregone conclusion, but not enough of you listened to us last time we tried that. So let’s hit the proposition circuit.

If you are in California, please vote against Proposition 8 on Tuesday.

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Like all good things, the 2008 JesusH Voting Guide fits on the face of a pumpkin.

The asinine “protect marriage” crowd is busy telling you all sorts of horrible things about gay marriage’s legality in California, but here’s the straight scoop: homosexuals ought to have exactly the same rights as heterosexuals, no more and no less, and their ability to enter into a life partnership that exactly matches the one that man and woman can enter into should not be subject to the whims of people who shake their head and say “no, I’m just not comfortable with that.”

Until 1943, Chinese immigrants did not have the right to become US citizens and vote. My wife could never have acquired the same rights and responsibilities of United States citizenship that Paris Hilton has, no matter how hard she worked or how much better she made America, because she was born in China and Hilton was born here. That is Extremely Fucking Nuts, and we know it now, but I’m sure back then there was a bunch of people shaking their heads and saying “no, I’m just not comfortable with Chinese having a path to citizenship and enfranchisement.”

Read the rest of the Voting Rights Timeline if you have time. It’s an eye-opener.

That’s a jarringly recent example of constipation of justice in the United States, but this country has a long history of that kind of nonsense. If someone *doesn’t* have the same rights as you, they ought to have done something felonious to get themselves in that position. Being born homosexual shouldn’t count. In fifty years, this will look as silly to everyone as barring Chinese people from access to citizenship looks to us now. This isn’t the first time we’ve covered the gay marriage issue around here, and we haven’t changed our tune one note.

Let’s all do our part to ensure equal treatment for Californians regardless of sexual orientation on Tuesday.

Non-Soapbox-y postscript: I left my jack o’ lantern in front of the house Halloween night and the next morning the “Yes on 8” organization had kindly left me a voting reminder right in front of it.

Don't Forget!
Really stupid, really funny, or both: you be the judge.

Thanks, Yes on 8 team! I’m still ashamed of you, but I got a chuckle out of it.

16 thoughts on “2008 Voting Guide”

  1. huge heavy sigh! latimes.com has an interactive map that shows how counties voted per proposition. i believe SD county was “yes” on 8. BOO!!!

  2. I find it disheartening and confusing that the odds of someone voting against prop 8 were roughly inversely correlated with how much oppression and disenfranchisement their ancestors experienced.

  3. well, lucky for you i dont live in California, so I didnt get to vote “YES” on prop 8. My reasoning for that is that this country was founded on Christian faith, and it should remain that way. There’s always propositions that try and take Christianity out of the U.S. and some of them pass, which is why this country is going to fall apart one of these days…
    So, there’s my two cents. Homosexuals have the right to make choices, but marriage is a Godly sacrament between a man and a woman. That’s the way it’s always been, and the way it should be.

    🙂 nice pumpkin, tho..

  4. Abi’s logic is unassailable… I can find no holes.

    How about we make marriage a strictly religious construct and get the state out of the business of sanctioning marriage altogether? Then the Christians and the Mormons and the Wiccans and the Jainists can sanction whatever relationships they want to, comfortable in the knowledge that their ceremonies will have no legal standing whatsoever.

  5. Dammit, Abi – if this was an attempt to bring me out of hiding to post something on JesusH, it’s totally not going to work. NICE TRY THOUGH. 🙂

  6. No on 8, because I’m not a bigot.

    btw, I get the best political advise from pumkins, keep it up. Even the pumkin wasn’t a bigot.

  7. you say ‘born that way’, true for skin color however no evidence of this for sexual behavior outside of what evolutionary theories obviously require for continuation of the species

  8. Hi Paul. There is plenty of evidence that sexual preference has a biological basis but it is thus far anecdotal. For instance, I know from my own experience that I am heterosexual and that, unless I get shipped off to prison, I will never seek the loving embrace of another man. Many homosexuals report similarly that they cannot conceive of seeking out the opposite sex. You may argue that this is not conclusive evidence, but I suggest that if you yourself have a strong uncontrollable compulsion one way or the other, then that is itself evidence that gays probably work similarly. Unless you believe that YOU were born with a similar “sexual preference blank slate”, it seems a bit disingenuous to say that there is no evidence that biology isn’t somehow involved.

    Another example of this is handedness. If you are born right-handed, it probably seems more natural that everybody else should be born right-handed as well. If you are called upon to decide whether to grant equal rights to a left-handed person, you could either demand solid biological evidence that all left-handed people aren’t somehow faking it, or you could just give them the benefit of the doubt based on the testimony of your many left-handed friends and neighbors.

    In fact, I believe that science WILL one day be able to demonstrate a connection between sexual preference and biology (as I believe it has between handedness and biology), but I don’t think that giving homosexuals equal marriage rights should have to hinge on that conclusive biological evidence being discovered.

  9. Nice job, Jeff, except I believe we can all agree that left-handed persons should be granted special and extended rights as opposed to righties.

  10. That’s obviously true. I believe that if anybody should be allowed to a marry a gay, a lefty should. I’m all for a phased approach here.

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